Right One, Wrong Time

Wow. it seems like more than a year since the last post. Well, I'm fine. Pretty fine. Then why am I here writing my stupid post in a site no one is going to find out that it exists. That's the advantage of it, low visibility. So here we go. In short. I'm doing my Master Degree now, more like suffering. I almost there to quit my job but cannot be sure about that right now. I'm going to start a new one around the end of the year, as a translator. A very ideal job for a guy like me. Good pay. Good team. Can be at the place. Don't have to visit the office almost at all. They call it a "virtual office".

Never thought this song could perfectly be played to someone in my life.

So what is the main point of being here on a page? There is a kind of confusion, here in this chest of mine. If I've mentioned that I'm now living with my gf. A good girl. One of a kind. A bit short tempered. But overall. her lifestyle and mine is quite the same. Yes, we're doing great from the start. The details of how I met her are irrelevant for now. What I really want to take it out of my chest is that there is another girl. A very interesting one from my perspective. She has been around for a while and I do remember her. If you're going to looking for her, I'm putting some hints here just for the sake of my memory; short hair, needs glasses, the name means 'A look of beauty' in Thai, quite a nerd from a certain point. Given those clues, you probably know why I must mention her in this post. I like her. For a while. Even might be before I met my gf. But I never told her I'm interested in her. So what is the matter. Well, yesterday it seemed to me that she just confessed she has a feeling for me. Can you believe this? In this time of my life? And what ever the force is just thew a girl like this at me? She's just like me. Too much of me in her in a certain way. Her taste of music. What she's interested in. She likes cats too but is allergic to them. So sad for her.

What makes me feel bad is that I could feel a connection between us. Not because I'm lonely. But there is something about her. That tiny thing. Just strikes through me. Like she knows how to get me. That's cheating! It doesn't fair when there is a person like this walks into you life, when you're already have someone else. I'm a faithful man. I could lie and get away with it somehow but I didn't. I couldn't do that. That would hurt two lovely women just for a stupid man who can't help himself falling for another one. It hurts me so much. One day she will forget the feeling. But for me, as a person who seeks another with the same personalities, it's already hard holding back the feeling. I don't blame her. I cannot. I blame myself for not knowing my place. I wish she was taken already so at least I could break my feeling easier than this. I wish I could have her as a good friend for a while. But one day she will fall for someone and that will absolutely hurt me a bit if I still keep in touch with her.

I wish she knows that I do really like things to turn out the other way around. Maybe there might be a time that we were together. I really want to see how we grow old together. I'm writing with my heart with my gf but I can't deny a piece of me is with "A". Today, I am in one of the greatest pain in my life. It will haunts me for sometime. I will miss the way we talked with one another through songs. I'll remember how close we almost set each other alight.