Won't you stop driving me crazy?

This one might not be published right away after I finish writing it. It's because I'm afraid it would be to much things to read in a very short time (it seems like I write stories of my life too frequent lately). Anyway, since I don't know if I could talk with someone who could understand. I just want to talk with her only! I'm a stalker hahahah. So, here I go again.

It's only 2 days (from the day I wrote this) ago from the last time I met her and now I miss her so bad. It's kind of good that we still keep in touch from time to time. It's good in a certain way because the harder we are to meet, the more I keep thinking about her. Wait. That's a good? Hahah, missing her is good and bad at the same time I guess. That's what a crazy girl does to men.

Anyway, wiping tears and keep writing, I should. She's on her trip to Korat at the moment. It's her mom request (more like an order to me) and as a good girl, she does what her mom wants. I really love it when she takes photos to show me what she's up to, what she sees, and where she's at. I mean, I don't want to make her feel like I 'need' to know every step she takes, but she just keeps updating her life without me asking her to do so. You understand why I'm really into her right now? She's still wearing those triangle earrings. She told me their meaning is 'to be successful'. I guess it's another dark magic of hers. She didn't drive though she wanted to. Just being a DJ for her mom while hitting the road and playing Thai song of old, 'A Lion at the Church's Gate'? Sounds fucking weird but has a meaningful lyric. Maybe she got that from her mom.

I think she's probably one of a few girls I know (I barely have female friends anyway) who has a very unique taste at choosing things including places and clothes. I mean wherever she goes it seems like a lovely place people want to be. Or it is because I just want to be there too? Hahahaha.

I'm so jealous of her. Living such a life full of fun and travelling. I wish I could do the same one day. Maybe compete with her on who visit the better places. Maybe I even go to places with her myself!

Last night I was very busy finishing my old artwork from the past. I suddenly want to finish it because of her. I don't know why it's her. And I only slept for 3 hours to wake up to 10 hours-shift! Fuck me! I didn't give her a goodnight. But she told me she was very busy dealing with her family matters. Poor girl.

Today is a very boring day cause I didn't have enough sleep and there are lots of works to be done. I really want to get away somewhere so far from here. Like she does. She sent me those pictures again. Like she knows I want to know hahaha. Oh, why her face keep popping up in my mind. She changed to another resort again because the last one was full. See how vibrating her life is? Who could hold themselves not to fall for her? I really want to tell her how much I miss her hahahaha. Yeah, but doing that too often would become bland in the end. Plus, I don't want to annoy her that much. Keep a space between us a bit is a good way to not taking things too fast and far.

And she showed me a wig that she has for a wedding of her friend too! WTF. Does it make her look better? Yes and no. I'm already into deep so it doesn't matter how she looks now. The thing is that seeing her is an amazing feeling! Wow, I don't think she has any idea how much that affecting my life. This damn girl keep doing simple thing like it won't shake anyone's heart! Poor me!

It makes me think about "what if I had to wait until May so I could see her in real life, how much pain would my chest has to deal with?"

I guess the power beyond my sight loves playing with me and seeing this heart beating so hard every time I see her photos.

PS. Please visit me every night in my dream, you witch!

Blue,